I have a question about Situation 1. I was wondering, in this sentence: どっちか暇だったりしませんか? – why is the ~たりする form used? Why not just say どっちか暇ですか?Also, when he says 家いえまで迎むかえに行いくね。, how does the other person know he’s not talking about his own house?
This is the method of indirect communication, which is considered best to maintain harmony or “wa,” which is important for Japanese people.
どっちか暇ですか?sounds direct and strong.
どっちか暇だったりしませんかsounds more humble and indirect.
Japanese custom has a strong taboo against directly refusing or giving negative opinions to someone else’s ideas. When asked in an indirect way, it is easier to say, sorry I cannot make both. If asked in a direct way, it is hard to reject it.
how does the other person know he’s not talking about his own house?
→ Because of the context.
I have a question about Situation 1. I was wondering, in this sentence: どっちか暇だったりしませんか? – why is the ~たりする form used? Why not just say どっちか暇ですか?Also, when he says 家いえまで迎むかえに行いくね。, how does the other person know he’s not talking about his own house?
This is the method of indirect communication, which is considered best to maintain harmony or “wa,” which is important for Japanese people.
どっちか暇ですか?sounds direct and strong.
どっちか暇だったりしませんかsounds more humble and indirect.
Japanese custom has a strong taboo against directly refusing or giving negative opinions to someone else’s ideas. When asked in an indirect way, it is easier to say, sorry I cannot make both. If asked in a direct way, it is hard to reject it.
how does the other person know he’s not talking about his own house?
→ Because of the context.